Welcome to the Historical and Hysterical, Edinburgh Comedy Tour!
Welcome to Edinburgh’s only walking comedy tour! The goal of the Edinburgh Comedy Tour is to bring the history of beautiful Edinburgh to tourists in a funny way! You’ll leave with Daniel down the cobbled streets of Edinburgh old town and you’ll laugh so much. Daniel is one of the funniest people in Edinburgh and the tour is amazing!
The Edinburgh Comedy Tour leaves from Blair Street in Edinburgh outside Monkey Barrel Comedy Club. The tour takes place Tuesday to Sunday at 1pm and 4pm.
Due to the amount of swearing in the tour, please be advised that the Edinburgh Comedy Tour is strictly for people ages 16 and over.
When not giving Edinburgh Comedy Tours, Daniel is a stand up comedian who’s passionate about the history of Scotland, tourism and comedy. He’s written two fringe shows for the Edinburgh fringe including one about the history of Edinburgh and the history of Scotland. Daniel will make fun of Scottish history and Scottish/Edinburgh culture.
Daniel believes it’s important not to get worked up about the boring facts like what happened on exactly which date and it’s more important to tell the funny stories. You’ll never remember all the facts anyway! However people remember stories, especially funny ones.
Sign up for the Edinburgh Comedy Tour today! If you have any questions, please email firstname.lastname@example.org
Edinburgh Comedy Tour – Who wants to learn some Scottish humour?
Here we’ll be looking at Scotland, the country and it’s people in a lighthearted way! The best thing about Scottish humour is that we don’t take ourselves seriously. If you’ve ever seen Trainspotting, you’ll get the idea. We love to laugh, especially at ourselves.
Only Scotland fans go to the European Championships and World Cup finals having already bought their tickets back in advance. We know that we’ll go out in the first round but go anyway for the foreign women and cheap beer!
When we travel, our amazing fans, The Tartan Army, come back with awards for being so friendly and well behaved! Not like when Celtic and Rangers go abroad! Where the locals need to stay in their house to avoid getting stabbed. Lucky you’re coming to Edinburgh on holiday, not Glasgow!
Don’t get me wrong, Glasgow is a friendly city. After you get stabbed they’ll point you in the direction of the nearest hospital and call you an ambulance!
Scottish people are known by the English as being poor and miserable. Did you know that copper wire was invented when 2 Scottish people were fighting over a penny?
People often ask on The Edinburgh Comedy Tour about the women of Scotland
Billy ran home to tell his mother he got a part in the school play.
“What part did you get?” she asks.
“The part of the husband” says Archie, proud to be in the play.
“Tell that teacher you want a speaking part!” Billy’s mum replied.
Yes, Scottish men put on a tough act but we all know who’s in charge at home! Many people believe that Scottish men go home and get beaten by their wives. Domestic abuse towards men in Scotland is rising!
Probably because of women like Archie’s mother…
Schools in Scotland have changed…
This is probably part of the rise in domestic abuse towards Scottish men. Scottish men are becoming very soft. We believe it’s the education system. You’ll see what I mean when you read on…
Scenario: Ian and Scott get into a fight after school.
1973 – The crowd gathers around, excited. Scott wins. Ian and Scott shake hands and get over it.
2013 – Ian’s mum phones the police. The Armed Response Unit arrests Ian and Scott. Scott gets questioned for his suspected affiliation with a gang. 6 mobile phones with the video of fight are confiscated as evidence. Ian and Scott spend the weekend in the cells. Scott is charged with serious assault. Scott gets chucked out of school, never gets a job and becomes destined for a life of crime and drugs, like most Scottish people.
Scenario: Josh won’t sit still. He fidgets and talks and it bothers the other students.
1973 – Josh gets sent to the headmasters office and gets belted. Josh returns to class, sits still, behaves well, gets good grades, goes to university and goes on to live a good life with his family.
2013 – Josh gets told he’s got ADHD and social anxiety. Jeffery gets given large doses of Ritalin to help him focus. He’s also given valium to help him relax around the other kids so he can stop fidgeting. He receives hours of counselling. Drops out of school and becomes a drug dealer.
If you’re loving these jokes, you’ll love the Edinburgh Comedy Tour! Drop us an email if you have any questions at email@example.com.
Scenario: John chucks stones at a car and smashes a window. John’s dad smacks him
1973 – John doesn’t do it again, grows up normal and becomes a successful businessman.
2013 – John’s dad gets thrown in jail for child abuse. John joins a gang so he can make money to survive.
Scenario: Jerry brings cigarettes to school.
1977 – Jerry shares a cigarette with his teacher after school.
2007 – Police are called and Jerry gets expelled. His car gets searched for weapons and drugs. They find a condom and arrest Jerry for suspicion of soliciting prostitution.
Scenario: Kevin starts a fire in the forest on his lunch break
1973 – Kevin gets told to put out a fire, puts out the fire and goes back to class.
2013 – Kevin gets arrested for suspicion of terrorism. Kevin’s Muslim friend gets arrested on suspicion of being a part of Isis. The police investigate their parents and siblings, computers are confiscated and they’re put on a terrorism watch list. Neither Kevin or his friend ever get a job.
Scenario: Phillip gets injured playing football. His teacher, Karla, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.
1973 – Phillip soon feels better and goes back to playing football.
2013 – Karla gets accused of being a sexual predator. She loses her job and goes to prison for 6 years. Phillip goes for therapy and none of the other kids will be friends with him.
We can’t wait to see you on the Edinburgh Comedy Tour! If you have any questions, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.